I have an issue.   It’s turn signals.  I’m sure you have yours.   This is mine.  I just don’t get it.  I don’t understand why people don’t use their turn signals.  It’s not like it’s hard;  it’s like the flick of one finger.  It’s not that they don’t know they are going to turn;  they started slowing down quite a while ago.   Why not just use it?   Think of the blessing it could be to those around them!  We’d all be on the same page, we’d all be communicating clearly;  life on the road could be so grand!

A few years back, Beth Moore helped me deal with my turn signal issue.   I’m not saying I’ve arrived, but I am on the road to recovery!   She was teaching on the scripture we ended with yesterday:  one of my favorites:  James 3: 17

“But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others.  It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds.”

Willing to yield.   Willing to let others go ahead of you.  Beth gave a powerful teaching on the example of Jesus, who, being in very nature God – did not consider equality with God as something to cling to.  Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;  he took the humble position of a slave.

Jesus was intentional.  He thought ahead of time about this.  He made a decision long before presented with the situation that He would yield, surrender His life, for the purpose of gaining life for us.  He laid down His life so that we could be raised up with Him.  He decided long ago this is what he would do, and when the time came, with His Father’s help, he did it.

Beth challenged us to look for ways to practice yielding.  I thought EVERYONE would be excited about applying it to the turn signal issue, but I may have been the only one.  I just know that ever since then, whenever I am driving and someone cuts me off, or dangerously turns in front of me, or – the unthinkable – forgets to use their turn signals,  I now look at these as opportunities to yield.   To let the other guy go free.  To be actually excited to show grace, cause you can only do that when the other person doesn’t deserve it!   To look for all kinds of  ways to let others go first and put myself last :   like letting someone go in front of me at the grocery line, or offering to take back a cart, or possibly in my marriage….

Practice is so helpful.   Practice is being intentional.  What if today, I were to stop and think about ways I could yield and lay down my life for my mate?   What if I LOOKED for opportunities to show grace:  undeserved favor,  at times when he didn’t deserve it, maybe after he makes a mistake (though rare of course), times when it was his turn to make the bed, and I just do it instead.  What if I set aside time each day to pray for him and ask Father how I could serve my man today unconditionally, like in ways that aren’t ‘fair’, or expected, or deserved.

Here’s my issue in marriage.   It’s communicating.  Or not communicating.  It’s when he forgets to call or let me know what’s happening.   Like a turn signal, I just have the hardest time understanding why he can’t just make a quick call.  I’ve been asking this question for 30 years.   It’s not that he is irresponsible, or doesn’t try to be considerate.  It’s just that every now and then when he forgets, I feel forgotten.  Rejected a bit.  (are you hearing a theme here, gentlemen?)    Like a turn signal, it can help so much to communicate what the other is thinking or going to do!

BUT, what if I were to decide today:   I’m going to yield and give grace.  I’m going to let go of the expectation that he be perfect (or men, that ‘she’ be perfect).   What if, even if I FEEL like demanding justice (or at least an apology),  I go to my knees with my Father instead, and yield.  Lay down my rights.  Receive again the grace given to me – that while I was still making mistakes and didn’t deserve it, Jesus died for me.  In my place.  Instead of me.  When I deserved judgment, he gave me mercy.  When my sins made me guilty, he took the punishment instead.

I love the good news of the Gospel of Jesus.   It doesn’t make rational sense.  It is for those of us who didn’t deserve it, us with our issues.   I love that God wants our marriages to be a picture of the Gospel:  a visual example of how to love and serve and yield to the other, especially when they do not deserve it.    This kind of unconditional love is counter-cultural.  In an age of making sure we have our ‘rights’, how beautiful the marriage that lays theirs down for each other.

I still have my issues.  But I have a grateful heart and a greater love.  And it compels me.  To look for ways today to bring glory to Jesus.   To do it for Him.     To yield.

“When you obey my commandments you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love.  I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my JOY.  Yes, your joy will overflow!  This is my commandment:  Love each other in the same way I have loved you.   There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”   -Jesus       John 15:10-13 

… or one’s spouse….