The Founder  is a movie about the beginning of McDonalds!  In the movie, two brothers, Mac & Dick McDonald, develop a brand new process in the 1950’s for making quality hamburgers in record-breaking time.  Washed-up salesman, Ray Kroc, (played by Michael Keaton) is impressed with this amazing process we now know as  the first ever ‘fast food’, and he made a deal with the brothers to franchise it.   The brothers were meticulous about their restaurant and process, insuring only the best quality, service, and environment.  Their first McDonalds was a creation of perfection & beauty and ran smoothly as well-trained employees believed in the mission and vision of the brothers.

The problems began when Ray Kroc would sell these franchises to whomever he could get to purchase them.  These ‘investors’ did not know about the original, beautiful design of the McDonald’s creation.   Instead, they hired just about anyone, hurried them through a process similar but not exact, and ended up with…  you guessed it, restaurants so far below the quality of the original design that it made the brothers heartbroken.  The rest of the story is about how Ray eventually cheats the brothers out of any ‘ownership’ stock, and basically takes credit for being ‘the founder’ of McDonalds.  It was heartbreaking.   The brothers end up with basically nothing and Ray becomes a billionaire with all the credit and fame.    As I watched the end of the movie, a righteous indignation rose up within me, “AGH!  It’s not TRUE!!  Ray stole  the brother’s designs!!!

If you read yesterday’s blog, you might have been expecting today’s blog to be about sex.  And here it is!

Sex was created and designed by God!!  He made it beyond AMAZING –  a wedding gift to every married couple to bind them together in the holy covenant of marriage!!  He made it in PERFECTION for ENJOYMENT of a husband and wife as they give of themselves entirely to each other!   In the safe context of marriage, and only there, can sex be the unbelievably beautiful and intimate and joyful gift that God intended it to be!

The problems began when people starting ‘franchising’ and attempting to have this kind of union OUTSIDE the original plans and designs of the One who created it.   The world has been filled with false substitutes and poor replicas of God’s original gift!  The enemy has stolen truly one of God’s most beautiful designs for humankind and cheapened it, slandered it, and marred it beyond recognition.   And as Steve and I are watching what the world is ‘buying’ from this Deceiver, a righteous indignation is rising up within us and wants to shout out to the whole world:   “WAIT!   THAT’S A LIE!  YOU SHOULD SEE WHAT THE ORIGINAL DESIGN IS ALL ABOUT:  IT’S FAR BETTER, IT’S INCOMPARABLE, AND IT IS UNMATCHABLE IN PLEASURE:   it is SEX within MARRIAGE!  And it is not only the best, it is the ONLY fulfilling sex out there!!”

(I know, this is a bit unusual:  sex is not usually compared to McDonalds…  we’re trying here…. YOU try to write a blog on sex… and how would YOU start it?  Just sayin ……)

Seriously!  We are tired of the posers and deceivers being the ones who educate on us sex!  We, the people of God,  the children of the Good Good Father who GAVE us this gift, need to start talking about this:   SEX IS AMAZING – IN MARRIAGE!!!!   We cannot count the numbers of movies or TV Shows out there that imply over and over again that once you get married, sex will be boring or unfulfilling or not existent at all.   Sorry.  Just gotta set the record straight:   IT’S A LIE!!!

ANOTHER LIE:   sex as depicted in the movies, yes even our favorite rom-coms, girls,  is not realistic or true!   It does not happen perfectly the first time, the bells do not always toll, and lovers are not anywhere CLOSE to knowing true intimacy with someone they barely know, much less trust them with their deepest heart.

TRUTH:  Father knows best.   He designed this gift He’s given to us!

“This is Solomon’s song of songs, more wonderful than any other.    Kiss me and kiss me again, for your love is sweeter than wine.  How pleasing is your fragrance;  your name is like the spreading fragrance of scented oils.  No wonder all the young women love you!  Take me with you;  come, let’s run!  The king has brought me into his bedroom.”

Did you know THAT was in the Bible?   (You can check out the whole Song of Solomon!)

“A husband has the responsibility of meeting the sexual needs of his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband.  Neither the husband nor the wife have exclusive rights to their own bodies, but those rights are to be surrendered to the other.  So don’t continue to refuse your spouse those rights, except perhaps by mutual agreement for a specified time so that you can both be devoted to prayer.  And then you should resume your physical pleasure so that the Adversary cannot take advantage of you because of the desires of the body…”   1 Corinthians 7: 3-5

TRUTH:  Sex is only truly satisfying  within marriage, because only then are you in a safe and secure relationship in which you can risk giving your heart away;  here you are sure of the one you are loving because they have proven their commitment through marriage to say, “I am yours.  No matter what.  I am not going anywhere.”   This is the beautiful foundation of true intimacy.   (And why ‘living together’ is not God’s plan…)

TRUTH:  In the same way that you need a first date, then a few dates, and then some time together before you can really get to know someone relationally,  SO TOO do you need a first time, then a few years, and a lot of wonderful practice together before you can really get to know someone physically!    It is a process of discovering each other that continues to grow after 10 , 20, and even 50 years of marriage!   Because God is so good, it really does go from glory to glory!!

TRUTH:  It doesn’t just “happen!”   It does take intentional learning, talking, sharing, and -praise God- practice!  It takes two people getting to know each other and studying the differences between each other and how to bless the other.   It takes two people who focus on pleasing the other, who then find out that they get blessed beyond measure in return when they are selfless in lovemaking!

TRUTH:  It should be filled with joy and laughter and awkward moments and more laughter and more joy and passion and tears of joy and unbelievable pleasure!  It should be like going on an adventure every time, cause the trail will keep turning as the seasons change, and you never know what you will find!!

TRUTH:  Men and women are beautifully and completely DIFFERENT in their needs.  SO different, that only when each puts the others’ needs above their own, can true fulfillment be found.  We think God knew what he was doing!

TRUTH:  God wants us married people to truly enjoy this gift of sex, both of you, and if you are not,  there is HOPE!   We ALL need to keep learning!   Many couples go through seasons of needing help!  And help is so available through counseling, or resources, or even trusted friends.   You are NOT alone!   The ONLY hopeless situations are the ones where we do nothing about it, we tell no one, and we just keep doing what we’ve always done expecting different results…. insanity!   The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy, as we have been talking about…  and don’t you know this may be his #1 target in your life to steal from:    Why?  Because it is so key to your marriage.   

Hear it again:  if you are married and NOT experiencing growth and joy and true intimacy in sex,  you are not alone, and you can find help.  Pride would have us never tell a soul;   true sons and daughters of God know that when we humble ourselves, God will lift us up and help us and lead us!

We bless your marriage today!   We bless you to enjoy each other in sexual intimacy as husband and wife!   We bless you to start talking about it and keep growing in it, and as Steve often says, practice, practice, practice!  And we bless you to be honest, and take steps to find help, and don’t let the enemy steal from you any longer!   We bless you with joy and laughter and passion and oneness.   And we hope that every time you see a McDonalds, you will remember this blog,  and you’ll want to hurry back home. . .

Suggested Resources:

Love After Marriage   resources, book, classes   https:/www.nothinghidden.com

Love and War   by John and Staci Eldredge

The Sexually Confident Wife   by Shannon Ethridge

Marriage Series Part 3, Michael & Lorissa Miller, UPPERROOM Podcasts – March 11, 2018