Steve is a restorer.  When we first started dating, he was restoring old cars.  He and his dad, or brother, or his friend Jon would buy these old junk cars, strip them down to the bare bones, and build them back up again.   Till they looked like new.  Completely restored.

When I would look at these pieces of jun… uh, scrap metal,  I couldn’t believe they would want to start working on THAT!  But I didn’t see what they saw.    They could look at that old rusted, wrecked, beaten-up-beyond-recognition shell and see what it could be.  Why?  Because they knew what it was originally!!  They knew the beautiful car it used to be in its original form, its original design, its intended beauty!  And they knew nothing was beyond repair;  it could be restored!

Some of you out there feel like those old rusted cars.   You feel worn down, broken down, and beaten down beyond recognition;  like you barely remember that innocent young girl you used to be, or that energetic young man you once were.  It’s just a vague memory now.  You used to be so full of hope, so excited for the future, so confident…  but then the road of life took some unexpected turns.  Maybe you, yourself, took those turns and still beat yourself up for being so stupid.  Maybe you let someone else drive and they turned out to be untrustworthy, wrecking you and your life beyond recognition.  And now you live daily out of a junk-yard of life, feeling scarred and marred and thrown away and forgotten.

But today we want to tell you – there is a Restorer who sees you.  And he looks at you with such eyes of love and hope and expectancy…. because he KNOWS who you were originally designed to be!  He sees the real you!  Under all the yuck and brokenness of life, he sees the YOU that HE created, and knows all the original designs and plans he has for your life!  He knows what happened.  He was there during the tragic wreck, the painful aftermath, and the slow decomposing.   He has never left you nor taken his eyes off of you.   And today, HE is the one speaking to you now and saying, “Come to ME.  You, who are weary and broken down… and I will give you rest.  I will RESTORE  you and your soul.  And you can be made new again . . .”

Jesus is saying to you right now,  “Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden?  Then come to me.  I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis.  Simply join your life with mine…” Matthew 11: 28

“Now, if anyone is enfolded into Christ, he has become an entirely new person.   All that is related to the old order has vanished.  Behold, everything is fresh and new.   And God has made all things new . . .”     2 Corinthians 5: 17-18 TPT

If this is resonating with you, if your heart is beating a little faster, or the tears are forming in your eyes, that’s Him.  He’s lovingly calling you.  He wants you to know it’s true:   it’s never too late.   Nothing is too hard for Him.   The God who created you is able to restore you.  Stop reading and just turn to Him.  Pray something simple like, “Jesus, I need you. I want to join my broken down life with your healing life.  Forgive me for the wrong turns I made.  I come to you now and ask you to come in and restore me to the real me you created me to be…. to be like you.  I want to travel your road with you, your way.  Thank you for forgiving me, for cleansing me, for making me new and giving me a new start with you. ”      

If this sounds good, but maybe too good to be true – at least for you, keep reading.

Two years ago, we bought an old lake house.  Not just any cottage on a lake, this was the same lake house my Grandparents had owned when I was growing up.   My family and I have years of memories of the loving place my grandparents created from a cinder-block shack into a warm and cozy and adorable lake house.  Steve and I had been there multiple times during our dating years and even the first few years of marriage.  My grandfather sold it …nearly 30 years ago!!   The next two owners made some changes, started some projects but didn’t finish, let it fall into disrepair, cut down the beautiful trees, painted it ugly pink (yes, a lovely mauve), and forgot to do any weeding (like for years…), which would have driven my grandparents crazy……

Now, it was back on the market and my man had that restoring itch again.   I said, “Honey, I don’t even want it ’cause it looks NOTHING like I remember it!  It’s ugly, broken down, needs SO much work, and … We can never get back those 90 year old oak trees…”  But he smiled and said, “Lor!  We can fix it up!   We can restore it to the original design that your Grandparents had!  We can bring it back in to the family and make it beautiful again!  We can even plant some trees…..”

And so we did.  When we started, I was so overwhelmed.  I would look at the mess and wonder, “Where do we start?  This is going to take FOREVER!   Is it even worth it?”  And he was so excited.   He just jumped in.  “Start here, Lor…  Let’s do the outside while the weather is good…  Then we’ll start on this room…  then…”  And so I turned off my brain and just followed.   We took one day at a time,  one week at a time,  one project at a time.  I learned that the heart and mind of a Restorer could see the finished product, could see the steps necessary to get there, and could patiently take one step at a time.    This was so good for me, the girl who wants everything to look nice…  like now.  There were moments when I would walk into a room, and get so overwhelmed, I could hardy breathe…  like, why did you pile up all that junk on top of the bed?  Do you know how much old dirt there is in all that?  Shouldn’t you be wearing a mask as we pull out all the old insulation?  How can you work in such MESS?   Couldn’t we just organize the piles, or at least clean up this area before we….”     And he would patiently tell me,  “Lor, we have to make a mess before it can look good again.  We have to tear out this old yuck before we can put in the new.  We want to put in good insulation, strengthen the foundation, and do the yucky work behind the scenes that no one will see…. before we can begin to paint, and decorate, and enjoy it.   But we WILL!  We will get there! Remember what it used to be!  We can restore it! ”

And so we began.  I learned about the word PROCESS.  I realized that if I just focused on the task in front of me, fixing one thing at a time, painting one trim piece at a time, hammering one nail at a time…  and sticking with it, I began to see progress!  I started to feel hopeful, like maybe this WAS possible.   We had some set-backs.  Some repairs didn’t work out, and we had to try something different.  Some things we couldn’t keep and had to let go.  But we kept going.  We didn’t give up.   And nine months later, we had done it!  We invited the family to come and celebrate!  We sat on our new deck, looked out on the lake, and took a deep breath.  We could just enjoy.   Yes, there was still some work to be done, there always would be things to repair and improvements to be made,  but we were filled with joy!   We had come so far, restoration was happening, and it had been worth it!!!

Marriage can be like this.  Sometimes a marriage needs restoration.  Sometimes our marriages can feel so far gone, so overgrown with years of neglect, that it feels overwhelming.  Like, you wouldn’t even know where to start.  But here’s the good news:  There is a Restorer who remembers the plans and purposes He has for your marriage!  He see all you have been through, he knows how hard it has been, but he has not given up on you!  He knows that even the most hopeless marriages can be restored, it can be made beautiful again.   Yes, even yours.  It will be a process;  it will not be easy, but with Him leading the way, it can be done!

Grace is a powerful word:  it can be defined as the undeserved favor of God.  It is also the empowering of God.  The grace of God says that no matter what you’ve done, or whose fault it is that you are where you are now, there is forgiveness because Jesus took the blame and the consequences and paid the price so that you could stop making your spouse pay.  Or making yourself pay.   Somebody has paid.  Jesus paid it all.  And now?  There is help available to all of us – ESPECIALLY those of us who don’t deserve it.  God’s love is so faithful and His grace is so real that He will actually ENABLE you to do things you cannot possibly do without Him.  He can empower you to love and forgive even those who don’t deserve it, because that’s the way He has forgiven you.  Restoration starts with forgiveness. Getting out the old junk so He can begin building anew.

You have already started!   If you read the above and prayed that prayer, or if you were simply reminded that God can cleanse and forgive EACH ONE of us – no matter what- then you are already halfway there!   Most marriage problems are not marriage problems, but heart problems:  each of us must stop pointing the finger at the other and take a good look at the condition of our OWN hearts.  When we begin to deal with the stuff in our OWN lives, and ask God to make US new, clean, forgiven, then we are getting somewhere!  When we can join our lives with God’s life, ask Him for His heart and His power to forgive our spouse, to move towards our spouse again, to ask our spouse to forgive us for OUR part…. then we are on the road to restoration.   It must start with owning our part, working with God on our own part, and letting God change our hearts.  Pray.   Then pray some more.   Prayer is a two way conversation, so listen and let Him speak to you as well.  He will!  He loves to answer when we wait and listen for Him!

Next?  None of this can be done in isolation.  God designed us to be in his family, to live life with others and help each other.   The next step in restoration is to reach out and ask for help.   First for you, yourself.   Then for you and your marriage.    Maybe a pastor, maybe a counselor, maybe just some trusted friends who will pray with you and walk this road with you.   Then ask your spouse to do the same.  To go with you.   Keep praying.  And pray some more.  For you.   For your spouse.   Restoration starts by embracing the process.  By asking for help.  Is it easy?  No.  But it’s harder to stay where you are.  And it is worth it.

GOOD NEWS:  God is the Great Restorer, and He wants this even more than you do!  Nothing is too hard for Him when we surrender to His ways and His love  and His process.  No marriage is too far gone.  There IS hope.  For you.   For your friends you love.  God sees and knows it all, and He knows the original designs He had for you and your marriage!  He sees right now how great it can be!  He wants to give you eyes to see it, too!  He wants you to believe in your marriage again!   To come to him together, and trust Him to begin the restoration process.  One step at a time.  One month at a time.  Hold hands if you can.  Restoration is a process.   But it is a beautiful process!   And your marriage is worth it!

Take a deep breath!   Dare to pray and believe it today!  And listen to this song:

Now, if anyone is enfolded into Christ, he has become an entirely new person.   All that is related to the old order has vanished.  Behold, everything is fresh and new.   And God has made all things new . . .”     2 Corinthians 5: 17-18 TPT