A funny thing happened in April.  We realized we were about to celebrate our 30th Wedding Anniversary on the 30th of April.   So, we took 30 days to blog and thank God and celebrate marriage in honor of all the 30’s.  Our desire was to give back – to humbly give thanks to God by sharing or giving away some of the things that we have been blessed to learn, in hopes that other marriages might be blessed or encouraged in some small way.

Here’s the funny thing:  I think our marriage got blessed most of all!   Looking back, those 30 days of intentional time thinking on our marriage were life-changing for us.  Our marriage was the healthiest, happiest, and most hopeful it has ever been.   It caused us to be gut-level honest with ourselves and God, and it reminded us how much we’ve been through, how good God has been, and how thankful we are.

Makes sense.   They say it takes approximately 21 days to form a habit.   After 30 days, we had formed a new habit of being intentional DAILY with the gift of our marriage.   After 30 days, we were looking at each other with more kindness, more understanding, more grace.

So, here we are again.  We’ve decided to keep it up – not really for you who may read – no offense – but for US!   Not every day, but maybe once a week.   A Marriage Moment…  maybe MONDAY’s Marriage Moment, maybe more.  We’ll see.   A time to stop and turn and look at each other again, and realign and smile and be thankful.

We’re going to start today by reminding ourselves of one of the most powerfulhabits we have found for a joyful marriage – and a joyful LIFE, for that matter:  Gratitude.   NOUN.   “The quality of being thankful;  readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness”   

“Give thanks to the Lord for He is GOOD!  HIS faithful love endures forever!”  1 Chronicles 16: 34

“Be joyful always.  Pray continually.  Give THANKS in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”          1 Thessalonians 5:16

God actually instructs us to BE thankful, to give thanks, and to be overflowing with GRATITUDE.   It is not only the right response to Who God is and what He has done, it actually becomes our strategy and weapon for victory in marriage and life!

First, choosing to give thanks to God reminds us  (‘re – minds’ …  realigns our thinking) that God has been so good and kind.  When we look up long enough to say Thank You, we SEE Him clearly again, and we are re-minded how powerful and big and wonderful He is.   When we praise Him, He actually ‘inhabits’ the praises of His people;  He comes even more near.  He is drawn to those loving Him and thanking Him.

Try this:  Think of one amazing thing God has done in your marriage (even if it were years ago!).  Lift your eyes to Him and thank Him.    Tell him again you remember that only HE could have done that…. and you are grateful!    Now look for his Father-smile as He responds to you:  how big is God?  Can anything threaten or worry Him?  Is there anything too hard or trouble too great that He cannot easily handle it?

And there:  we are seeing correctly again.  Now, we can look at the day, the situations in front of us, re-minded that Father God has been faithful, IS faithful still, and is with us in whatever we are facing!  We remember that He has made us HIS children, and we are quite safe and secure with Him who never leaves us~

And NOW, we can look back at our spouse and remember that God is their Father, too, and they are his child!  He loves them and is FOR them and hears every prayer you pray for them!  Now you can see your spouse through the eyes of your Father, see the good, see all that you fell in love with the first time…. and your heart BECOMES grateful.   Giving thanks realigns our vision, and our hearts follow.

Giving Thanks is also a weapon God has given us to defeat the enemy, his lies, and the fears & frustrations he brings.   (See April Love Blog, Day 16: Enemy)   It’s good to remember that “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone (and some marriage) to devour.”  1 Peter 5:8   Because he has been rendered powerless by Jesus, the only trick up his sleeve is to whisper his lies to us about God, ourselves, and our spouse.  If he can get us to agree with him, then we have put our ‘faith’ or belief in him, empowering him to come in and have his way with our thoughts and emotions.  BUT if we can declare our THANKS and the PRAISES of God LOUDER than his lies, we will drown them out with the TRUTH;  we can silence his voice with our own, declaring we believe in our good Father and thanking Him that He is greater than all.

Real Life:  This sounds good on pap…uh, blog.   It was easy to be grateful in Switzerland on our amazing anniversary trip.  In fact, all I could do was cry with thankfulness – like every day.   I just kept repeating out loud, “Thank you, Jesus.   Thank you, Father.”   We climbed mountains, strolled through villages, and held hands all along the way.  We were humbled, grateful, and so thankful for each other and for God’s extravagant goodness.

Then we came home.  Then we had to catch up.  Then we visited hospitals where those we love are hurting and fighting and dealing with real life.   Then we entered back into the crazy schedules and the travel for work and the commitments.   Then we had a choice:  We felt the temptation to focus on the tiredness & just getting life done, and forget Who God is and who we are in him.     I admit, I stumbled and had moments like this;  Steve maintains his vision better than I.

But on Sunday morning, God showed me a cool thing He had done in me.  We were worshiping God, singing His praises, and I was happy to be back in church with our community in worship, focusing again on His face.  I was surprised, then, when all of a sudden these images began playing across my mind:  images of majestic mountains, and ancient church spires, and lovely cafes along narrow streets…  and holding hands.  At first I thought I was just being distracted.    Then I realized:   I was worshiping.   In His presence, I was remembering all He had done and how good He really is, and I was giving Him thanks from the purest place ….. the place of gratitude.   I didn’t have to bring it to mind, conjure it up, or strive to be thankful.   I just lifted my eyes to Him long enough to say thanks, and that which we had been ‘practicing’ came out of me as a natural response.

Gratitude.   NOUN.   “The quality of being thankful;  readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness”   

What would our marriages become if we started every day with, “Thank You, Father.”  Thank you for my husband, for my wife, for our marriage.   Thank you for who they are, who they are becoming, and Who you are in them.   Thank you for the privilege of being the one who knows them best here on earth, and the one who can see, believe, and cheer them on to becoming.  Thank you for the joys we’ve shared as well as Your faithfulness to us through the storms, troubles, and tears.  Thank you that You have given us Your Spirit of love and joy and peace to abide in us whatever may come!  And thank you for giving us a best friend with whom we get to journey through this life.

Today, we bless you with a moment to look up, and say Thanks.   It may just become a habit.