I was folding laundry, flipping through the channels on TV, and came across Disney’s latest version of Cinderella.    Honestly?   It was SO GOOD!!!

Maybe it’s because it was not the animated version, or maybe it’s because Steve wasn’t home to make fun of me or the girl who talked to mice,  but really I think I loved it because of its theme:  Kindness and Courage.

This rendition begins a little earlier in her story, when Cinderella was little and lived the most happy life with her mother and father.  But when her beloved mother is taken ill and is about to die, she draws Cinderella close and whispers with the warmest of smiles, “Promise me, Cinderella, two things:   Always be kind.  And always be courageous.”

Ah~  This makes the rest of the story make so much more sense!  This makes her patience with her evil step-mother and step-sisters take on a whole new meaning!  Throughout their verbal abuse, taunting laughter, and treating her like their slave, you could almost see the internal battle and the ways that Cinderella made conscious choices over and over again to BE kind and courageous.

Even through her tears, even through her pain, she remembered her promise to her mother, and she chose to be kind.  And that took some serious courage.

I believe that Kindness is a lost art.

I believe that if all of us girls could take a simple lesson from Cinderella, our lives and our relationships and yes- especially our marriages – would be completely transformed.

I think if there were one thing that Steve would love more of from me, it would be plain and simple, old-fashioned kindness.   He has said as much:  “You would never talk to your friends or your girls that way.”   And he is right.

Why is it I think it’s ok to ‘let it out’ on the one whom I love the most?   Why do I seem to forget that he deserves not only my respect but the same kindness and consideration that I would give to others?   In fact, why wouldn’t I want to give to the one I love most THEE most grace and kindness that I possibly could?

Steve & are dabbling in managing a few vacation rentals.  It sometimes makes me a little uptight as there are a lot of details, scheduling, people depending on us, and I’m often fearful we’re going to forget something, or mess up someone’s vacation!  A few weeks ago, my worst fears came true when we realized we had double booked not one week at a lakehouse, but two!   Everything in me was shouting, “I knew it!  This is what I was afraid of….  ” and the old me would have taken out those frustrations and fears on the guy who didn’t mark the weeks on MY master calendar as ‘Rented’.   Maybe I’m growing up, maybe realizing life is short…. but this time, we just looked at each other, and began cleaning up our mess.   No blame.   No ‘should’ve’ statements.

Not reacting emotionally is kindness to our men.

“A kind answer turns away wrath.” Proverbs 15:1   It stops silly arguments in their tracks.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as in Christ, God forgave you.”   Ephesians 4:32               Kindness brings reconciliation.

“Kind words are like honey- sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”  Proverbs 16:24 NIV   “Nothing is more appealing than speaking beautiful, life-giving words.  For they release sweetness to our souls and inner healing to our spirits.”  Proverbs 16:24 TPT

Kindness brings healing.   It brings sweetness to the soul.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”  Colossians 3:12

Kindness is the best of all clothes in our wardrobe.  We are knock-out attractive to our men when we clothe ourselves with kindness.

Kindness is the way my God has treated me.    It’s His kindness that leads me to repentance every time.  Not His nagging or His condemnation.  Not his shaking of the head or the heavy sigh.     Kindness could lead our spouses to change the way they think as well.

I believe kindness could change my marriage.

I believe kindness can change the atmosphere of our home.

I believe Kindness can really change the world.

It’s a lot like love, but it’s love with feet.   It’s putting action to God’s greatest command.

Kindness is often what love looks like.

We currently live in a kindness vacuum.  Our culture, at least that which is displayed in much of the media and news and lively discussions on Facebook, is void of old-fashioned kindness.    At times, our culture and we who are in it are just plain mean.

And here’s the kicker, we don’t realize how constant exposure to meanness actually infects us.  In a world where people just say whatever they think, all in the name of authenticity, have we forgotten how to be kind?

The good news?   We have been MADE kind by the Kindest of all beings.   The result of Him living in us, the fruit of His Spirit in us, is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness….   This means I can do this!   This means when I am kind, I am being the most authentic ME I can be:  I am behaving according to my original design!    I am most happy and content when I am kind.

Where to start?  I think kindness flows from a thankful heart.   I am so thankful God is so kind to me every day.    This needs to be my starting point.

I know Steve feels loved when I think ahead and serve him in some way that blesses him.  He feels honored when I assume the best about him and speak TO him in a tone that is kind.  And when we disagree, Father help me remember:      it is more important to be kind than to be right.

How about you?  What are some ways you can show more kindness to your man today?  (Or even to your children or co-workers or neighbors who drive you crazy?)  The way we speak, the attention of our hearts and eyes, planning something special ahead of time, looking for ways to serve and to bless…  and doing it all without complaining or arguing or feeling bitter…. but doing it instead with graciousness and thoughtfulness… it’s all kindness.

Maybe I’ll buy the Cinderella DVD & just watch it every now and then  to remind me!  Based on the way she was treated, Cinderella had pretty good reason to react in kind,   but instead ,  she re-acted in kindNESS.    She didn’t return evil for evil, but overcame evil with good.

May we girls thank God today for the men in our lives.   May we let the kindness of God’s love soften our hearts again till we long to be kind in all things, whether our man is being kind or not.   Whether he deserves it today or not.

I want to be more like Jesus.   And after watching the movie, I think I want to be more like Cinderella, too!  I believe there are happy endings for those who are, by nature, kind.

I cried when the movie was over.  As she and her prince are walking away into the sunset, she turns back to her evil step-mother and says these words,  “I …  forgive you.”

And the voice-over man says in the most gentlest of voices, “And Cinderella continued to see the world not as it was but as it could be – if you only believe in kindness and courage.”

Ask our kind Father, “How, specifically, can I show kindness to my man today?   And, Father, how can I make it a habit and become thekindofwife that is kind?”