“Hurry up! Here she comes!” And the Theme Music began to play, and the famous people’s names scrolled across the screen, and my sister would come running to the TV so we wouldn’t miss seeing the name we were looking for.

When I was growing up, Thursdays were unusual days. Thursdays were the one day a week we had a babysitter and the one day a week my sister and I could eat our lunch in front of the television set so we could watch our mom on TV.

Mom is a vocalist, a singer. She has been given a special gift from the Father. Her parents recognized it, encouraged it, and invested in it; and at the age of twelve, mom went to the big city of Chicago to record her first record. My Grandfather was a Worship Minister, and as her vocal coach, he trained her well. During high school, she was on a live Television program called the Midwestern Hayride. (A variety show not unlike Lawrence Welk that paved the way for Hee Haw, for any of you seasoned Midwestern folks out there!)

So during her high school years, every Saturday morning they would leave their small town of Upland, Indiana, and drive 3 hours to Cincinnati, where they would have a day of rehearsals, a break for dinner, and then would do the show LIVE at 7:00pm. (Live television, as in, not recorded, not edited, just as is!) After the show, my mom and her parents would drive the 3 hours home, sleep a bit, then get up bright and early for church the next day where her dad directed the choir and her mom was the organist. (positions they served in for over 30 years.)

She’s been singing ever since: starting in a trio with her sisters, to state fairs, in churches across the midwest, from small town festivals to big corporate conventions, on radio and TV, from Bob Hope to Lena Horn, for weddings and funerals and Pacer basketball games, and everything in between!

But nothing compared to hearing her sing the old hymns.

I remember as a small child watching and listening; the way she closed her eyes and sang from her heart and gave him her all. She wasn’t singing to us; as little as I was, I knew she was singing to Him. And something happened inside my heart as I heard her cry out, “I’d rather have Jesus than silver or gold. I’d rather be His than have riches untold. I’d rather have Jesus than anything this world affords today…” And a hush would come over us as the awesome presence of God filled the room and settled on us all. And my young heart decided then and there, ‘I want to know Him that way. I want to love him so much that nothing compares. I want to know this Jesus she loves so much…..’

One time, at one of the many churches we traveled to, I was sitting next to my Grandfather, who had his eyes closed as she sang. And I realized he wasn’t sleeping as I had thought, but also was loving and worshiping this Jesus that he must know as well. And on that day, I looked up at the cross behind the baptismal, and realized that this One they loved had loved us so much that He gave His life for us on the cross. And that day, I followed in the footsteps of generations of family before me, and decided to follow Him too.

My Mom’s career continued to blossom, and while she was singing on TV programs like the Paul Dixon show or the Ruth Lyons or Bob Braun 50-50 Club, the Cincinnati Inquirer Newspaper published a headline that read, “DAWN, A NEW DAY?” And the article went on to say that Nancy Dawn (my mom’s stage name) was on her way to becoming the next Doris Day. (and if you’re too young to know who that is, you can google it! Suffice it to say, it was a big deal!)

My sister Angie and I enjoyed those Thursdays of watching Mom on TV, especially the day she picked out a puppy right in front of us to bring home to us late that night! We were between the ages of 4-7.

But when my little brother was born, my Mom said she was done. She didn’t want to drive to Cincinnati, even one day a week. She didn’t want to be gone for State Fairs and P.R. Engagements, even one weekend a month. “I just wanted to be Tom Childs’ wife and you kids’ mom,” she told us throughout the years since then. “That’s all I wanted to be.”

And I realized that what she sang about was also how she lived. And Whom she loved was more important than what fame she could gain. And that she wasn’t kidding when she said that she’d rather have Jesus than anything this world affords today.

And I learned as a young girl what Family means and what really matters and what Jesus’ love looks like in action. I learned that Jesus was real, and His love was enough, and He was more about relationship than just going to church. In fact, following Jesus was ALL about relationship: loving Him and each other, and laying down our lives for each other in Family.

Not unlike my dad’s example, I learned again that loving me means you just wants to be with me, that I was worth sacrificing for, and that I was actually CHOSEN above the things of this world. I learned this was just a glimpse of how my Father feels as well.

It’s also how He feels about you. No matter who your mom is, or what kind of love you received at home, there is a Father who created you and knows you and loves you. He wants to BE with you and live IN you – so much so that He’d rather die than live without you.

My mom gave up a career in television to be with me . . . Jesus gave up His whole life to be with you!! And me. And all His children.

This weekend, my mom and dad are hosting us at their house for an Easter celebration. Mom has worked all week at getting ready for us all to come – just to be together. She prepares favorite foods for certain kids, a beautiful table to sit at, and even an Easter-egg hunt for her grandkids who are ages 10-26!! After all these years, she still just wants to be with us; and I’m reminded again what Family and love look like, and what really matters. Thanks for living it, Mom.

Bathtub songs. Did you, do you have them? We did! Of course we used Barney’s song, “Clean-up, clean up, everybody do your share,” to get the house cleaned and the toys picked up.

But the bathtub seemed to be a good time and space to remind and repeat those things that were MOST important. I remember asking God, “What’s the most important thing here, Father? What do I REALLY want them to know? What really MATTERS?”

Our bathtub song went like this, with hand-motions, of course: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and mind; with all the strength that you can find. I love you, Lord.”

Begin with the end in mind.

If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll never know how to get there, or even if you’ve arrived! Only when we know the end goal of parenting and what really matters will be know how to get there and when we have arrived!!!

Someone asked Jesus what the end goal was: “Teacher, what is the most important commandment? (ie. Why are we here?) Jesus replied, ‘ You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.’ Matthew 22: 36-37

When Steve & I got married, we dreamed of having ‘little us’s’, children that we would get to raise and love and enjoy. But when we got pregnant, we suddenly realized this wasn’t just about us.

We were part of a much larger story.

We suddenly saw ourselves as not just a single family unit, but as a link in a chain of a whole LINE of family units; not only of our earthly families, but of God’s larger family, of which we were a part.

And as we prayed, we realized that God had chosen us to carry and birth and raise children that were really HIS children, with purposes and destinies that HE created them to know and fulfill, not only for their joy but for HIS Kingdom purposes and the good of the world!

Therefore, our end goal became more than raising good kids or having a happy family or producing responsible adults who would contribute to society: our end goal was for them to KNOW the Father who had created them, to know and experience His great love for them as His children, and to love him with all their heart, soul, mind & strength in return.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 “Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone! And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your foreheads as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

This became our end goal. We wanted to begin parenting with this end in mind.

We didn’t do it perfectly; we would sometimes forget and get caught up in our own goals or the goals of our neighbors or even the American dream-goal; but we had committed wholeheartedly to this ONE goal, and our Father was faithful and kind to bring us back to what our hearts truly longed for.

We found we truly NEEDED to “repeat them again and again to our children” and to ourselves! To talk about our end goal at home, on the road,in the bathtub- over and over again. To post this end goal around the house and read about it in books we chose that would remind us of WHO our end goal was and how much He loved us!

It was easy to forget and make other things our end-goal: When good behavior became the end goal, we frustratingly focused on outward obedience and forgot the inner workings of the heart. When success at school became the end goal, we gritted our teeth & focused our time and energies on homework and grades above other worthy priorities. When becoming a basketball star became our end goal, Mom would scream at the refs and be mad at the coach if our son were not ‘given a fair chance’. When any other goal became our END goal, even temporarily, we forgot where we were headed, took many a wrong turn, and often were lost. Without the end in mind, our minds got hung up on what was in front of us.

But this is the BEAUTY of having an end goal! When we get lost, we just have to look up! When we forget, Father will remind us! When we confess our sins and forgetfulness, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us and set our eyes upon the end goal again!

Why? Because this is not only what we were CREATED for, our purpose in life, this is what makes our hearts sing and our souls feel full and our lives feel satisfied as no other end goal can do!!!! “Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, it’s never even entered into the heart of man the things God has prepared for those that love Him!!!! But God has revealed it to us by His Spirit!!”

“I pray that the eyes of your hearts would be enlightened so that you could know the HOPE to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in us the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe!” Jesus said, “I have come that you may have LIFE – abundant LIFE!” “Therefore, seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and everything else you need will be given to you!”(Eph.1, John 10, Mat.6:33)

Paul put it this way, “Therefore, we fix our eyes on JESUS, the author and perfecter of our faith… Set your minds on things above … We fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen; for that which is seen is temporary, but that which is unseen is eternal!”

The bathtub is one good place to take time to fix our eyes and set our hearts on what really matters: on the end goal! But it’s only one place: every walk you take, every breakfast/lunch/dinner, every book you read, every worship song you dance to… they are all times to repeat and remind and re-fix our minds on Jesus.

Whether you pick them up out of the crib each morning, or gently pat the back of your teenager who has slept through their alarm, it’s a good morning to joyfully remind them, “This is the day our Lord has made! We will rejoice and be glad in it. We thank you, Father, for another day you’ve given us. We thank you for loving us so completely and being with us today! We love you today, Father, with all our hearts, souls, and minds.” (And don’t forget the hand-motions….)

We have not parented perfectly. In fact, I have made so many mistakes as a mom that if they were all written down, all the blogs on the internet could probably not contain them! Sometimes, I lost my temper. Other times, I would speak one way to my friend on the phone, and another way to my husband or boys standing in front of me. And yes, you could occasionally find us having a nasty, voices-raised family conflict or two before exiting the car and entering through the church doors!

There are so many things I would do differently.

My greatest desire as a mom was to show our boys the love of Jesus that they would then want to get to know this Jesus who loved them for themselves! There were times I felt I was doing the opposite. There were times when the guilt and the shame were shouting so loudly that I couldn’t hear the truth; praise Jesus His sheep DO hear His voice when we stop to listen, and the Truth He speaks can set us free. (And when we’re free, we parent a whole lot better!)

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22: 6 AMPC.

The Message says it this way, “Point your kids in the right direction – when they’re old they won’t be lost.”

Notice it doesn’t say, “Live a perfect life in front of them, and then they’ll know which way to go!” Notice it doesn’t say, ‘Point out to your kids all the things of the past, or the mistakes you’ve made;’ nor does it say, ‘Point out to your kids all the times of the past that THEY’VE done wrong, so they won’t forget ….”

No! Praise God! It says, “Train and point them in the way they should go…” Point them towards JESUS! He IS the Way ! He is the TRUTH about who they are made to be! He is the Life that will fulfill them and live in them and never leave them nor forsake them!!!

And He is the One full of Grace they will need when they take a wrong turn; He is the forgiveness they will remember you needed and asked for and received when YOU messed up; and they won’t be lost when they need it, too.

The ground is level at the foot of the cross. We all have sinned – you, me, your kids, and mine; your hero, your enemy, and the perfect family on instagram; we’ve all fallen short of the glory of God that we are made of, and now remade in because the Glorious One lives in us!

I didn’t get it all right – this parenting thing. But He reminds me daily, “You don’t have to get it all right, Lori, because Jesus got it all right for you!” And I feel the pressure roll off and the peace roll over me like a wave of love and freedom! I realize I’m not responsible for how my kids turn out, I’m just responsible to daily keep myself in the love and joy of Jesus, be filled and led by His wonderful Spirit in me, and give away from the overflow of this free, abundant life I live in! I’m just called to love them well, model grace, and cultivate an atmosphere of peace where they, too, can hear their Shepherd’s voice over the noise of other voices!!

Practically speaking? It looks like modeling some quiet with Jesus for myself each day; time in His Word till His Word is in me! It looks like time with the kids in the Word, making the Bible our favorite book in the house! It looks like leading them in worship when they’re little, and taking them to houses of worship where they’ll want to worship when older.

But this “Point them in the Way they should go” thing also looks like pointing out how amazing God made the clouds, how miraculous he made the birds that are singing, how powerful He is that the thunder must obey Him! It looks like talking with Him throughout your day, thanking Him for every blessing as they come, and asking Him questions when you don’t know what to do next. It looks like walking with Jesus and talking with Jesus out loud until it’s as natural as talking and walking with each other. 24/7. 365.

It’s about lifestyle. Not getting it all right, but getting to do it all with Him right there with us. It’s not about being perfect, but about being perfectly devoted to the One who is, and who is IN us! It’s about listening for Holy Spirit, and writing down what He says, and teaching our kids that they can hear Him in everything!

I wonder if Grandparent-hood is like a redemptive gift from Father. We get to take all that we’ve learned from the Parenting season, and apply some of the wisdom we’ve gained through it all. I have to say, this makes me cry for joy and excited for the possible opportunity, and thankful to the One who redeems it all.

If there are any other parents reading this that didn’t do it perfectly, that aren’t getting it all right, that maybe have a few regrets, be encouraged today!! God is bigger! His love is GREATER! His ways are KINDER! And He is able to do more than we can ask or imagine when we realize it’s HIS power and love in us that we can rely on to parent our kids as He parents us! Confess your sins, receive His forgiveness, tell shame and guilt where to go, and joyfully get up and start again. Move forward. Look ahead! There’s a WAY we can go! Point your kids, and yourself, towards Jesus!

BE the child of God who is dearly loved and forgiven and free, so that you may BE the parent of God who loves your children to be the same!

Dear Clay & John, boys whom your Dad & I love beyond words; Dear Bailey and Jasmine, girls who have stolen our hearts and lit up our lives; Dear any grandchildren that may come of your love:

I just want you to know how wonderful Jesus is.

That’s all. He is everything. His love is the life every life longs for. He is my everything. He always has been.

It’s always been Jesus.

If there were only one thing I could ever tell you; only one thing you remember about Mom, it’s this: Jesus. Just Jesus.

I didn’t see it coming.  I was just reading a very familiar story that Jesus told about this Shepherd and his sheep.   He had 100 of them; but one of them wandered away and was lost.  And that’s when it happened.

I began to weep.  Like, not just a few tears, like a deep, gut-wrenching, wailing kind of weeping.

Just one sentence.   Here’s what it said, “There once was a shepherd with a hundred lambs, but one of his lambs wandered away and was lost.”  That’s all it took.

And I was there. And I could feel it.   I was seeing this poor little lamb wandering all alone, looking around, so lost, so scared, desperately trying to find his family, trying to find his shepherd.  And it was getting dark, and the lamb was getting cold and feeling so alone;  fear turned into panic as he ran this way, then that, searching, crying out.

And I felt the heart of the Shepherd who loved this little lamb and had been caring for him since he was born, and feeding him and tending him… and he knew that He MUST find him, and quickly.  The shepherd knew what the innocent lamb did not: that separated from his flock, without the safety of his shepherd, the little lamb was in great danger.   The Shepherd was very  aware that he wasn’t the only one searching to find him.  He knew there were enemies around, vicious wolves and hungry lions,  who would love to prey on an innocent, lost lamb.

And my heart broke.   And the tears continued to fall.   And I felt the heart of the Good Shepherd breaking for every lost lamb;  for every one of his little ones who had wandered away, who didn’t have the safety of family, the guidance of a Shepherd;  who felt completely and utterly alone.

It’s so easy to wander off.   We get a bit overwhelmed with life, consumed with what’s in front of us, head down- we just plow ahead, not realizing we are wandering into scary territory.  Following our desires for more, we just keep searching, thinking it’s just around the corner, just a bit further.

Till one day we stop, look up, and realize we have no idea how we got here.  We don’t recognize the place we find ourselves nor the person we’ve become.  We remember when we used to gather with the family, the flock of God;  life just got busy;  the kids are in sports;  besides, it took so much emotional energy, all that asking about my life ….

We just needed time to rest;  so we laid down and got comfortable; just needed sleep.   But now -now that we’re awake, the silence is deafening and the darkness is descending, and we’re not sure which way to go.   And the fear is rising as we realize we don’t know WHO to turn to, whom to listen to, nor which way is home.

“There once was a shepherd with a hundred lambs, but one of his lambs wandered away and was lost.  So the shepherd left the ninety-nine lambs out in the open field and searched in the wilderness for that one lost lamb.  He didn’t stop until he finally found it.  With exuberant joy he raised it up and placed it on his shoulders , carrying it back with cheerful delight!  Returning home, he called all his friends and neighbors together and said, ‘Let’s have a party!  Come and celebrate with me the return of my lost lamb!  It wandered away, but I found it and brought it home!'”     Luke 15: 3-7

Every single lamb matters!  YOU matter!   He knows you by name, has loved you since birth, and longs for you to be home in the safety of His care!   No matter how far you’ve wandered, He will find you – if you simply cry out!  He will come to any wilderness, search throughout a lifetime, and will never stop until He finds you!!!   THIS is the Shepherd who is also Father!  This is the love of the one whose goodness and mercy follow you all the days of your life, and will never stop running after you!!

And when you turn around and cry out for THIS SHEPHERD, you will truly be found!   You’ll have ALL that you need!  He’ll lead you by still waters and restore your soul!  He’ll give you rest in green pastures where you are safe and nourished and thriving and SAFE with the rest of the flock.   And even if you walk through valleys, through any shadow of death, you will not have to fear:  for He is with you!  His rod and His Shepherd’s staff comfort you and keep you close and remind you He is near!!!

And surely, His goodness and His mercy, His love and His Father’s heart, will pursue you all the days of your life, and you can dwell – with the rest of your flock / your family – in the house of the Lord, the Home He prepared for you – forever!  And there will be much celebration, and such great joy, and a party in your honor.  You, his sheep, how you matter!   For once you were lost.  But now you are safe, you are home, you are found.

“She’s a Lori Ann.” And the story goes that my parents couldn’t decide what to name me that first day of my life; that is, until my Dad went down to the nursery, looked at me for awhile, and knew who I should be. “She’s a Lori Ann.” And my mom agreed, and so I was identified, and that day I got my name.

My dad is the first picture I ever saw of my Father God. I think he bears a striking resemblance. My dad was the first to care for me, protect me from all harm, provide for my every need, and pick me up whenever I would fall. He took me with him wherever he went, which included a lot of sporting events, and therefore had me dribbling a basketball between my legs at the age of three. I learned that he loved having me along.

When Dad was around, I knew I was safe, for he was my protector; he always came when I needed him. Even if things were scary, everything became Ok when dad picked me up and held me close and rescued me from my fear.

My dad went on to become my biggest fan, my most ardent advocate when things weren’t fair, my constant encouragement, and the voice inside my head that said, “You can do it!” He cheered me on, believed in me, and never gave up until I began to believe in myself.

My dad was a high school principal when I was young. He’s the world’s best ‘people-person’, loved his staff and his students alike. Most nights would find him at the gym or their music hall or some awards banquet. But when my sister and I got older and began to be involved in all those activities in a different school system, dad was torn. He couldn’t be in two places at the same time.

So, in a world where most people climb the career ladder, mine decided to take a step down. He took an elementary school principal position, so that he could be there for my sister and me, and eventually our little bro. Do you know what that spoke to this little 12 year old heart? That, WOW, my dad must really love me, and value me, and want to be where I am. I learned that I was worth changing jobs for, sacrificing money for, and giving up status for. I learned that I had worth.

Of course he went on to be the most beloved Elementary School Principal who ever lived… (well, yes, I can have my opinion!) Who else had 300 young ones hug you good morning, and hug you goodbye before they got back on the school bus? But I knew he still made a sacrifice. I knew he put his family above himself . I learned what Father’s love looks like in action.

“This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. No greater love has man than this- that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15: 13 (or his family)

I realize not every dad can just change jobs when the schedule gets tough. Sometimes, dads have to have two jobs these days just to make ends meet. My story may not be your story. But my story may encourage you if you are a dad or mom: your choices speak volumes to your kids! Your priorities are seen no matter what is spoken. Value is instilled by the time you spend and the words you’re there to speak and the times when you just sit in the stands. You get to be the first picture of our Father in heaven that your kids will ever see.

And if you didn’t have a dad like mine, be encouraged today. You have a heavenly Father who actually created you, designed you, and breathed life into your lungs. He loves you perfectly- even more than my dad loves me – because Love is His very nature; it’s Who He is. Every thought he has towards you and every action he takes towards you is only and always in love because He IS love and He cannot act apart from Who He is!

I am so thankful for my dad. For the Family he and my mom began. It has given me the most beautiful place to grow up and be known and be safe and be loved and be-long: no matter what. It’s where I learned I am wanted and enjoyed and celebrated and valued. It’s where I learned that I matter. It’s where I get my identity, when my dad declared my name, “She’s a Lori Ann.”

And you have a Family where you can do the same. Where you can be known and loved and enjoyed and celebrated. Where you can learn who you are and Who your Father really is, and hear Him declare over you today, “I have chosen you. You are mine.”

“But now, … listen to to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, ‘Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.'” Isaiah 43: 1

“Miss Lori, can we borrow you for a minute?” and so I followed my Trio of girls past the bride & groom, through the wedding crowd, to a secluded room in the back of the church.  These sweet girls whom I’ve been mentoring for nearly 15 years, since they were in 7th grade;  now here they were, all grown up, all married a few years, and though two lived in different cities, we remained close in covenant – these spiritual daughters of mine.

As soon as she closed the door, I knew.  It was happening.  And my knees buckled just a little with excitement… and the squealing began before she could even get it out!!!  “AHHHHH!!!  Are you?  You are, aren’t you?!!   I can’t believe it!!   When are you due??  (enter tears, more squealing, overflowing joy)  “Wait!!  What?   Me, TOO,” said another one!  (And yes, we discovered that night that these two were due four days apart!!)   Wasn’t it just yesterday they were telling me which boy they liked at school, telling me who was mad at whom, and making lists of what they hoped their future husbands would be like?  Wasn’t it just yesterday when they asked, “Do you think he’s the one?”, then asked us to do their premarital counseling … now here they were, one already a mom and two with brand new babies on the way.

Today as I type this, there are two new babies in the world, one born yesterday afternoon, one born this morning at 5:30 a.m.  Two of three best friends since 7th grade, now laboring within 24 hours of each other. Co-laboring with God to bring new life, new seasons.    New families.

And I lift up my thanks and lift up my prayers, “Oh, Father, bless them and strengthen them.  Help them not only today, but in this world we live, to raise these children in joy and wisdom; and love them well… ”   

You may not have children. You may not be married. But if you’re in the Family of God, you can be a mother or father or a daughter or son. You are in the Family, and each of us has a role to fulfill.

The Trio and I started in a little office in a little church when three little seventh graders were upset about something someone had said, and one was crying pretty hard. (= a daily occurrence when you’re in seventh grade.) I was known as ‘Miss Lori’ back then, their worship leader for a family ministry we did together called KidStuf, so I asked if I could just pray for them? And we opened the bible, and read what God said, and one of them exclaimed, “This is amazing! It’s almost like God is speaking to us right now!’ And He was. And I smiled. And I listened and we prayed. And they said, ‘Can we do this again next week?’ And we did. And we continued. Week after week. Year after year. And that was 15 years ago. And we haven’t stopped.

And I learned that young teens need a place to just be and talk and share and have someone care enough to just listen. (Or maybe that’s all of us at any age…) I learned that even in the best of families, our kids will need other voices to speak into their lives as they grow, when they’ve heard it all from mom and dad, but might need another Mentor who could come alongside. Our boys did.

Enter the Family of God. Where all our families come together to become one bigger Family where God is Poppa of us all.

And if you have been born again, you have not been born into isolation. You were ‘born’ into a family: the Family of God. You now have brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers all around you. You are not alone. You belong. And you have a place. You have others you can turn to. You have others who need you. You may look around and see someone younger than you who just needs someone to sit with them, listen to them, and help them hear what God is saying.

Going to church is great, worshiping together is a joy! Studying the bible feeds our souls, and going to classes increases our understanding. But when Jesus showed us how to ‘make disciples’, he made HIS disciples with three words: “Come with Me.” Jesus showed us that the Life He came to give us is found in RELATIONSHIP, not religion. More is actually caught than taught. He taught us that God is Father and His greatest desire is to be WITH us. Jesus modeled that disciples are made as we invite others into our lives, into our hearts, as family.

I had no idea that children not born to me could become so dear to me. I found that the more we shared God’s love together, the more we felt God’s love FOR each other. We decided to commit to each other to be there for each other, through the good, the bad, and the ugly. For this is what Family does: it stays the course. It sees it through. It doesn’t throw in the towel when things get hard or you make me mad or you move to another state. Family knows your weaknesses and loves you the same and covers over a multitude of sins. Family celebrates your joys, and cries with you in your sorrows, and goes & gets the kleenex before the conversation even begins. Family recognizes your hard seasons, believes the best when you don’t, and reminds you who you are when you have forgotten. Family relationships are Covenant relationships: it doesn’t depend on the faithfulness of the other, but on yours to them when they need it the most.

This is the way our Father has loved us. And His greatest desire and commandment is for us to love each other the same. In today’s world, many have not experienced the kind of family that we had hoped we would. Many have never felt the Covenant Love that never leaves you nor gives up on you and is there for you no matter what. But today is a new day. Today, may you be reminded that you are not alone. There is a Father who does love you this way. His Covenant to you never changes: He’s in it for the long haul! And He has a family He’d love for you to come home to: where you will find that you are loved and you belong and you matter more than you could know.

And if you have HAD this kind of family? If you have had someone pour into you in your life? Give thanks. In the Bible, Paul poured into Timothy, his spiritual son. Moses mentored Joshua and took him wherever he went. Elijah took along Elisha, and passed on his mantel when it was time to go home.

Who are you pouring into? Who around you needs an older brother, sister, mother , father, or mentor to come alongside? You may even still be looking for someone to be this for you, but you don’t have to wait… begin pouring. Begin inviting, ‘Hey, wanna come?’ Begin listening, and caring, and sharing what you know of the Father and His love.

Today, two new lives have been born into the Family. It’s crazy how my heart loves them already. I am praying today – already- that they will know Father, they will have godly friends, and that when they need it the most, someone in the Family will ask them, “Hey, wanna come?”

“These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure;” Titus 2: 4-5

For our 30th Wedding Anniversary, we got to go to Switzerland and Austria.  Yes.  It is.  Unbelievably beautiful.   Like, it was the trip of a lifetime.  Magnificent!  Breathtaking!!  Wonderful in every way.  We are still reveling in the beauty of it and thankful for the blessing of it!

Of course I took about a thousand pictures… eventually, Steve asked me to just stop!  LOL.  There is just no way to truly describe how wonderful it is…  but pictures helped!  We showed our kids and our friends and family:  ‘Look how amazing!  These pictures don’t even do it justice!’  And our kids caught the vision:  they would love to go someday as well!  They’ve tasted and seen….

God is like this.

He is so magnificent, so vast, so loving and so amazing that there are no words to adequately describe Him.  What He has planned and purchased for YOU AND ME to EXPERIENCE and live in and enjoy with Him is so incredible that ‘No eye has seen, no ear has heard … the things God has prepared for those that love Him.’

But a picture might help.   It might give us a glimpse.  So God sent a picture.

He created Family.

Family is a picture of God the Father and the kind of relationship He wants with you.  And me.  With all His children.  No matter who they are.   No matter who you are.  You matter.

When Jesus taught his disciples (& us) how to pray, he said, “Pray to your Father …  ‘Our Father , who is in heaven . . .'”

Jesus came to reveal that the God of the Universe is a FATHER.  He doesn’t want us to come to him as Master & we his slaves, nor Sovereign & we merely his subjects;  he wants us to call Him Father.  Know him as our Father.  Talk with Him and receive from Him as Father.

Jesus came to reveal how perfect and how loving our Father really is:  that He would come to rescue and save us by sending His only Son, who would actually give His life for ours, so that the rest of us children could be adopted into His family and live with Him now and forever in our heavenly home.

“So I kneel humbly in awe before the Father of our Lord Jesus, the Messiah, the perfect Father of every father and child in heaven and on the earth.”  Ephesians 3:14-15  TPT

I had always heard that God was my Father.  As a young girl, I felt His love.  But until I became a Mom, I had no idea what kind of LOVE a Parent, or Father, could feel.  The first time I held my baby boy in my arms, and looked into the face of one so small, so miraculous, so MINE . . . my heart exploded.  This small one – this precious baby boy – born from the love of his dad and me, born of our own DNA, conceived and grown and born from WITHIN me… this one stole my heart.  And I’ve never wanted it back.

From that moment – that second – I knew that I would give my very life for this one.  I knew that I would move heaven and earth to protect him, to nurture him, to teach him, to be there for him.  There is nothing I would not do for this son of ours… and he hadn’t done one thing for us.  He hadn’t spoken one word or accomplished one thing.  He had done absolutely NOTHING to earn my love;  I loved him because he was mine.

And then it hit me.   This is how my Abba Father loves me.

And I began to understand.  And I began to be in awe.  And I have never been the same.

Your Abba Father loves you because you are His!   Not because you have done any thing for Him;  you could never earn His love for you;  He loves you simply because He created you and you are his child.

Here’s what gets me:  my love for our boys is only a ‘picture!’  My love for them  is the most overwhelming, explosive, furious love I have ever known, … yet I know it is only a PICTURE,  a small glimpse,   of my Abba’s love for me.   How can this even be?

Sometimes we learn things in our hearts that bypass our minds.  I only know that I have a Father who would do anything for me;  He protects me and nurtures me and delights in me and laughs with me and enjoys me and teaches me and is always for me.  He would move heaven and earth to be with me – He would even give His very life for me.  In fact, He already did.

And I am safe.  And I am loved.  And I belong.  And I matter to Him.

And so do you and so are you.  You are safe.  You are loved.  How you matter to Him!

Today, ask yourself, ‘How do I relate to God?  Do I call Him Father, and really see Him as MY Father?’   Then ask God this question, “Father, how do you see me ?   How do you feel about me?”    Then write what you hear Him saying.

“God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the written law.  Yet all of this was so that he would redeem and set free all those held hostage to the written law so that we would receive our freedom and a full legal adoption as his children.   And so that we would know for sure that we are his true children, God released the Spirit of Sonship into our hearts – moving us to cry  out intimately, “My Father!  You’re our true Father!”                     Galatians 4: 4-6   TPT

He pulled the little box out of his pocket and opened it for us to see.   “Mom & Dad, what do you think?  Do you think she’ll like it?”

And there he stood.  This little boy of ours, now all grown up.  Wasn’t it just yesterday that he was pulling rocks and shells out of his pocket?  Wasn’t it just yesterday we watched him take his first steps?  Now we were watching him take THIS STEP.  Stepping out.  Stepping into marriage. Starting his own family.

“Ohhhh!!!  It’s BEAUTIFUL, John!  It looks just like her,” and my joy and tears flowed freely together.  “Wow, John. You chose a good one, Son,” as Steve clasped his shoulder.

And our joy overflows and our prayers begin to rise, “Oh Father, bless them as they begin this journey.  Bless their marriage and help them love well.  Bless the foundation they are laying and building to begin a family of their own.”  

FAMILY.   This is where we are, this season of rejoicing and reaping and remembering.  This season of, ‘Wow, God.  How did you do this?  We have been so imperfect, made so many mistakes, and yet You have been so faithful to bring us to this.  This season.’    This season of realizing that this is how Family works – you pour out your lives to see them grow, and steady them as they learn to walk, and rejoice when they succeed and cry with them when they fall …  until the day they stand alone, and choose another to become one with, and they walk steady out of your home and into their own.  

Family.  It took me a few years to see it as Father does:  that while it ‘felt’ like we love them and raise them to simply see them leave us, the REALITY is it’s that they only ‘leave’ as a branch shoots out of a limb, branching out to become a new line of the Family Tree.  The old adage is true, we’re not losing a son, we’re gaining a daughter!!!    This is not subtraction, it is is multiplication!   

And it begins to hit us again:  this really matters!  It matters what we give our lives to, for it will multiply!  It matters what seeds we sow, for that is truly what we will reap.  It matters how we spend the minutes and hours and days while they’re young, for the culmination of those creates years. And sons.  And daughters. 

And though I’m looking at our grown son holding the little box, I’m suddenly seeing the nights we knelt by his bed, and read their bible stories, and clasped our hands to pray.  I’m seeing each birthday party that Steve would silence the joyful chaos long enough to gather the big family into a big circle, lay his hand on his son, and pray:   thanking God for who this young man was becoming, declaring the good things we saw God had made him to be, and asking Father’s blessing on his life for the following year.

Funny how fast those birthdays came.  And went.

Miraculous how God answered those prayers. 

Could it be – they really matter?   

We’ve come to believe they do.  They matter.  It all matters.  Because Family was Father’s idea, and Family Matters.

So as our sons are establishing their own new households and marriages, my Momma heart is spilling over:  and so I blog.

There’s so much I wish I had done differently!   There’s so much I’m so thankful we did!   There’s so much I want to tell them I’ve learned and that I’m praying for them and that God is able to do…  There is so much joy awaiting!  There’s so much that will be hard.     There is so much blessing in doing this Father’s way, and so much pain when we do not!   There is so much I want to say, so many insights I want to share…   poor kids.  Their mom ALWAYS has so much to share!

So I’ve decided to blog again, instead!  And if family matters to you, you’re welcome to join me!  I’ll continue to share about marriage – the foundation, of course; but we’ll also talk about being parents and raising families and why it matters and what Father might have to say about it all. 

So no matter where YOU are in the Family, whether son or daughter or father or mother,  maybe something shared here will encourage you, help you, and at the very least remind you that YOU matter;  for you have a Father who loves you, His child; who longs to help you grow, steady you as you learn to walk it out, celebrate with you when you succeed and cry with you when you fall.  This Father is the One who formed you and fights for you and remains faithful to remind you that you belong… for you are in the Family.  You truly matter.  

For family was Father’s idea:  and Family Matters.