Do you remember the first time you dropped your child off at a place they really didn’t want to go? Maybe it was Kindergarten, or first day of First Grade; for us Homeschoolers it was the first night of Awana class.

Remember all the things you told them before dropping them off? “You’re going to love it! Your friends will be there! And I will be RIGHT HERE when you get done, waiting for you!!! We’ll go celebrate your first day!”

And you did. You watched them all the way into the class, onto the bus, or through the door. You prayed for them while they were there. And you made sure you were EARLY to pick them up, so they would KNOW that you meant it, that they could trust you, that they were safe and loved.

Then, when they came out, you were so excited to see them! You wanted to know ALL about it! “How did it go? What did you do? What was your favorite part? Tell me about it!” And you hugged them, and smiled, and told them how proud you were of them!

When it was something they really enjoyed, they couldn’t wait to tell you! They would show you their picture, and describe what it was, and sing the song they learned, and sing it again,…. and when you got home, they would show you the motions – or the handstand they learned. And they’d say, “Watch me, Mom! Watch, Dad!” And you would watch! And you would wonder and be in awe! “Wow! You’re amazing!” And they’d do it again. Or sing it again. And you would be right there. With them. Cheering them on. Over and over…

When they are young, these things come naturally! As they get older, it’s a little different, less of a big deal, and they seem to not really ‘want’ all that fuss…. but I recently felt the Holy Spirit say to me,

“DON’T STOP!”

No matter their age, their stage, their season: DON’T STOP!

Don’t stop being excited to see them – like every time! Don’t stop being early to pick them up – or meet them! Don’t stop waving & giving them all your attention until they’re out of sight! Don’t stop putting the cell phone away so you can look them in the eye and listen and be present. Be. Present.

Don’t stop communicating “YOU are most important to me right now! I want to be right here – with YOU! I want to hear how your day was! I want to know how your presentation went! I remembered your test! I prayed for you!”

“TELL ME!” “SHOW ME!” “WOW! YOU AMAZE ME!”

No matter their age. No matter their stage. It still matters. They matter. DON’T STOP!

As they get older, we obviously need to be more subtle, more toned down, but even MORE present. We learn to be nonchalant, but never non-aware!

We had BOYS, who, through pre-teen and teenage years, seem to go into some kind of ‘cave’ where we can’t quite find them, they seem not quite themselves, and they get really quiet while they’re trying to figure it out. My instinct was to keep asking questions, get MORE excited, and be in their face; but I learned that what they need in this season is less about words and more about presence. Less talking, and more being.

But Don’t Stop. Don’t stop being there. Don’t stop having their favorite food ready, and lots of it. Don’t stop remembering, and praying, and asking when you can! Listen beyond what they say! Look beyond the expression on their face! BE there!~ Don’t stop!

We were born with a need to be seen, be heard, be safe, be wanted. A place to BE-LONG. We all long to be-long. God made us this way.

Family: the place God made where you belong. Where you matter.

Family: the place you can make where your kids know THEY belong. Where THEY matter. No matter their age, no matter their stage: Don’t Stop making a place, being a place where they know they are wanted.

Even if they roll their eyes. Even if they act like they don’t want to be wanted. Even if they say, “Mom! Stop!” Don’t stop. Be honoring. Be sensitive to their age, their stage… but Don’t stop.

Outside the family, they will be learning and exploring and meeting others; looking for that place, those people, where they belong. Maybe even to where God is calling them, to whom He is calling them.

The number one way we can help them recognize their place – is to create a consistent space – an example of what real love and real belonging and real family looks like. A measuring stick that reminds them not to settle for anything less. Or anyone less than one that sees them and truly loves them.

Outside the family, it can be confusing. Life can be confusing. Many are confused. But God is not confused. He knows. He is consistent. He is the same. He is Home. And He is good. He never stops loving. Never stops listening. Never stops asking, “Show Me! Tell Me! I’m right here!”

He never stops saying, “I see you! I’m with you! I’m for you! I believe in you! I know you – you’ve got this! I’m always right here.” Even when we act like we don’t really care, we don’t really need Him, He never stops. He keeps on loving, keeps on believing, keeps on being there.

No matter the age. No matter the stage.

Don’t stop.