We have not parented perfectly. In fact, I have made so many mistakes as a mom that if they were all written down, all the blogs on the internet could probably not contain them! Sometimes, I lost my temper. Other times, I would speak one way to my friend on the phone, and another way to my husband or boys standing in front of me. And yes, you could occasionally find us having a nasty, voices-raised family conflict or two before exiting the car and entering through the church doors!

There are so many things I would do differently.

My greatest desire as a mom was to show our boys the love of Jesus that they would then want to get to know this Jesus who loved them for themselves! There were times I felt I was doing the opposite. There were times when the guilt and the shame were shouting so loudly that I couldn’t hear the truth; praise Jesus His sheep DO hear His voice when we stop to listen, and the Truth He speaks can set us free. (And when we’re free, we parent a whole lot better!)

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22: 6 AMPC.

The Message says it this way, “Point your kids in the right direction – when they’re old they won’t be lost.”

Notice it doesn’t say, “Live a perfect life in front of them, and then they’ll know which way to go!” Notice it doesn’t say, ‘Point out to your kids all the things of the past, or the mistakes you’ve made;’ nor does it say, ‘Point out to your kids all the times of the past that THEY’VE done wrong, so they won’t forget ….”

No! Praise God! It says, “Train and point them in the way they should go…” Point them towards JESUS! He IS the Way ! He is the TRUTH about who they are made to be! He is the Life that will fulfill them and live in them and never leave them nor forsake them!!!

And He is the One full of Grace they will need when they take a wrong turn; He is the forgiveness they will remember you needed and asked for and received when YOU messed up; and they won’t be lost when they need it, too.

The ground is level at the foot of the cross. We all have sinned – you, me, your kids, and mine; your hero, your enemy, and the perfect family on instagram; we’ve all fallen short of the glory of God that we are made of, and now remade in because the Glorious One lives in us!

I didn’t get it all right – this parenting thing. But He reminds me daily, “You don’t have to get it all right, Lori, because Jesus got it all right for you!” And I feel the pressure roll off and the peace roll over me like a wave of love and freedom! I realize I’m not responsible for how my kids turn out, I’m just responsible to daily keep myself in the love and joy of Jesus, be filled and led by His wonderful Spirit in me, and give away from the overflow of this free, abundant life I live in! I’m just called to love them well, model grace, and cultivate an atmosphere of peace where they, too, can hear their Shepherd’s voice over the noise of other voices!!

Practically speaking? It looks like modeling some quiet with Jesus for myself each day; time in His Word till His Word is in me! It looks like time with the kids in the Word, making the Bible our favorite book in the house! It looks like leading them in worship when they’re little, and taking them to houses of worship where they’ll want to worship when older.

But this “Point them in the Way they should go” thing also looks like pointing out how amazing God made the clouds, how miraculous he made the birds that are singing, how powerful He is that the thunder must obey Him! It looks like talking with Him throughout your day, thanking Him for every blessing as they come, and asking Him questions when you don’t know what to do next. It looks like walking with Jesus and talking with Jesus out loud until it’s as natural as talking and walking with each other. 24/7. 365.

It’s about lifestyle. Not getting it all right, but getting to do it all with Him right there with us. It’s not about being perfect, but about being perfectly devoted to the One who is, and who is IN us! It’s about listening for Holy Spirit, and writing down what He says, and teaching our kids that they can hear Him in everything!

I wonder if Grandparent-hood is like a redemptive gift from Father. We get to take all that we’ve learned from the Parenting season, and apply some of the wisdom we’ve gained through it all. I have to say, this makes me cry for joy and excited for the possible opportunity, and thankful to the One who redeems it all.

If there are any other parents reading this that didn’t do it perfectly, that aren’t getting it all right, that maybe have a few regrets, be encouraged today!! God is bigger! His love is GREATER! His ways are KINDER! And He is able to do more than we can ask or imagine when we realize it’s HIS power and love in us that we can rely on to parent our kids as He parents us! Confess your sins, receive His forgiveness, tell shame and guilt where to go, and joyfully get up and start again. Move forward. Look ahead! There’s a WAY we can go! Point your kids, and yourself, towards Jesus!

BE the child of God who is dearly loved and forgiven and free, so that you may BE the parent of God who loves your children to be the same!